when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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