Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
