That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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