I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
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You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
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FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
false alarm, still single
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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