dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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