rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i will never coherently bang her
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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