it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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