We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
