Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
