i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one acquire holy water?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize