We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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