You work out of a Hotel?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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