I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
