I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
