Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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