The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
