If i come over, it means nothing
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sisters under your porch take her home
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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