This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
