Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
All I want is dick and wine.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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