He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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