dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Randomize