Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
