I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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