his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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