Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
where are my eyebrows?
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