Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
