a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
porn star boner night. come get it.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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