She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
