I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
