sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
