I feel great
I just peed on a car
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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