I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
