The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
