i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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