I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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