I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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