I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
