kristin has been a bad kristin
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
