i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
false alarm, still single
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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