: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?