So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
True strength comes from lack of pants
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"