I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
