Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
