Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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