He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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