I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
