guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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