your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
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