i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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