I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
