I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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