im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
