I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
