We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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