ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
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All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
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No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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