There is no way he is gay with that hair.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
