I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm always down for nudity.
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