Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
