but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
