So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
FUCK WHALES
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
