im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
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