I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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