You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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