my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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