let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
